That Peter Crouch...

"He must go and sleep in a grow bag, that boy, mustn't he eh?"

This is the sort of material Jim Davidson is capable of delivering during his sidesplitting, hair curling, knee-jerk comedy routines. Other great lines included "My legs look like a f*cking negative of Gandhi's legs alright?", and "F*cking Argentinians, worse than Pakis". Now, I know his humour may not be to everyone's taste, but I for one really think it's a shame that he's no longer welcome on our stages to show us what human beings are capable of in cognitive thought, reasoning and philosophy.

He's still soldiering on though, and it turns out that really the only people that seem to go for his unique brand of comedy are those in the armed forces; as testified by videos on YouTube. It's slightly worrying that those who are supposed to be ambassadors in foreign countries (if they're not maiming and slaughtering) would applaud the assertion that Phillipino women are "Little f*cking machines fuelled by rice".

Not only does he have some great social commentary on race issues such as those above, but his post-feminist views on sexuality are also eye-opening, and not the least bit crude, infantile or downright vulgar.

Still, for an alocholic wife-beater he's not doing too badly...

(Disclaimer: The above prose is laced with a potent blend of irony and fact, and should be treated as such. Artizan Quarter in no way align themselves with the beliefs, assertions or intentions of Jim Davidson.)