Jade Goody 1981 - 2009

Only the good die young. It's a phrase that has become all too familiar with the passage of time, with countless of our greatest pioneers being plucked from existence far before their time. And here is the latest, one of England's great ambassadors for peace, truth and beauty.

In her short time walking this cruel sphere, she spoke out against injustice wherever she saw it, selflessly promoting tolerance between cultures, and always making efforts to bridge gaps between people the world over. When she wasn't flying the flag for a better world, she was creating didactical material to further both the mental and physical aspects of human nature, that even after her passing, we will still continue to learn from.

Who could deny the impact this wonderful lady had on our world, and who could say what she had left to achieve, if in 27 short years she achieved so much? Certainly comparable to Princess Diana were her efforts, and no less tragic was her death. A deficit encroaches on this world, a gaping absence that will remain for time immemorial.

And so we must thank both Jackie Goody (Jade's Mum) and Endemol, for bringing this beacon of light into our otherwise bleak and ever darker world. We can only imagine as Jade's spirit is guided towards the gates, God's face will shine; "This is my child, with whom I am best pleased". Sometimes a spirit shines so brightly that perhaps it's not meant to be contained on this earth, and maybe, just maybe, it was destined to belong with heavenly creatures.

Onwards then Jade, and upwards too; towards the final curtain you now fly. Onwards to continue your thankless commission, your selfless servitude and relentless toil. Fern Britton sings (the fat lady).

Do you know how to touch a girl?

It's not what you're thinking.

The time is 11:31 PM, and I'm waiting for the England vs Scotland penultimate fixture of the Six Nations tournament to be uploaded to the BBC iPlayer. I watched the Ireland vs Wales fixture in realtime; exciting and tense stuff. Great television.

Meanwhile, I've happened across a little-known american RnB singer, Jojo. You might remember her from such hits as "Leave (Get Out)" and "Too Little, Too Late". Those of you who know me might know that part of my eclectic but fairly focussed and ignorant music taste includes some RnB artists. Jojo is one of these.

Here's why:

Do You Know How To Touch A Girl?
If You Want Me So Much
First I Have To Know
Are You Thoughtful And Kind?
Do You Care What's On My Mind?
Or Am I Just For Show?
You'll Go Far In This World
If You Know How To Touch A Girl

Inspired lyrics there, like so many RnB artists on the scene.

So, Jojo, if you're reading, I'm thoughtful and kind, I care what's on your mind, and I probably know how to touch a girl. And I can play guitar. So if you're interested, hit me up with an email or something.

The sun has got his...

act together. I hope it is sunny again tomorrow.

Spotify has also proved its value once again. Using the Radio function I had two hits in a row. If I Were a Boy - Beyonce, followed by Ooh Baby - Tommy Tucker. Although I must say I prefered Beyonce's hit, Tommy Tucker certainly shows perhaps artwork, although still using the same ideas and themes, is not what it once was.







If I Had a Boy?

What a load of Bank...

I may have been too hasty in my analysis and cutting satire of the current economic crisis (below). As it turns out, my assets (very little) are accruing a piss-trickle of interest. And here's where it gets interesting. I have an account with NatWest, and in that account is a sum of money to the sum of just over two-thousand pounds. I can tell what you're thinking - "Hello player, bet you're making a tidy profit off of that stash" - well you'd be wrong. Eleven pence. Eleven pence a month.

Mental. Over a year I get one pound and thirty-two pence of interest. That's insulting. So my reward for entrusting my tender with NatWest is the equivalent of a Solero ice-cream. Or perhaps a portion of chips. Or some of Bertie Bassett's Liquorice Allsorts.

So I'm thinking of ways I could sensibly invest my portion, to accrue a reward equal or greater than the equivalent of 50 posi-drive woodscrews. So far I've got:

-Offer a local drug-dealer my financial backing in return for a 30% stake in his enterprise.

-Get a homeless feller back on his feet, in return for a personal rickshaw service around Bath and the local vicinity.

-Start my own sex service, providing quality sex at credit-crunch beating prices.

-Invest in my future at a wishing well.

-Start my own bank, lending out money I do not have, and pay myself a tidy bonus for doing a shit job - and also give my clients a totally shitty interest rate. Or a Solero.